


Losing

by scarletred



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, not stated explicitly but it's set in Spa 2019, this is quite sad sorry, vague mentions of grief/mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21871519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletred/pseuds/scarletred
Summary: Charles has won so many races yet he feels like he's always losing.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 19





	Losing

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I haven't written in a loooong time and it's my first time writing in English so please bear with me. Enjoy if you can. I'll try and post happier stuff in the future. Okay, bye.

All his life Charles has been scared of losing. He’s a racing driver, of course he’s scared of losing. No. Racing drivers don’t want to lose, they hate it with all their being, but they’re not _scared_ of losing. Some would even say they’re not scared of anything. Bullshit.

Charles has spent the last five years fighting against the voice telling him that it’s all his fault. Everyone leaves him eventually and he’s left heartbroken and alone, a piece of him permanently with someone who will never give it back. How is he supposed not to think it’s down to him somehow? It’s his role. The romantic hero with a tragic back-story. Fuck that. It’s not poetic. It’s a nightmare, a fucking curse. It’s his life. And he has to deal with it every day.

Charles has won so many races yet he feels like he’s always losing. What’s the point of this charade? As he climbs on the highest step of the podium his mind is clouded by a million different emotions, only half of them are mildly positive. He should be screaming his lungs out, his face begging him to stop smiling so much unless he wants to cosplay Joker for the rest of his life. He want to scream, he truly does, just not in a victorious kind of way. It’s not hard to understand why.

He knows he’s crying and some clueless idiot tomorrow will probably label them “happy tears”. The others will do what they always do: bask in the glory of it all. The thrill of _high risk, high reward_. People addicted on someone else’s adrenaline rush. It’s a sick show and now the spotlight’s on him. Smile for the cameras, _chéri_, you won.


End file.
